A Word on Dieting

There are a number of reasons why a person will adopt a diet, meaning that they alter their eating patterns to conform to some prescribed regimen. For some, the reason is religious. For example, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I abstain from certain foods and drinks as part of a code of health commonly called "the word of wisdom" which is part of a modern day revelation provided to God's children as a guideline for good health. Those of the Hebrew faith abstain from the meat of certain animals and prepare their food in a way outlined in the Law of Moses. Others avoid or limit quantities of certain foods for cultural reasons. We may also adapt to a certain diet because it represents the best current recommendations medicine has offered us for avoiding disease.

My motivation for limiting consumption of the foods I normally love is that I am simply too dang fat, and I'll admit, it's mostly about vanity. Sure the health perks will be great, it'll be nice to sprint up stairs without the bother of chaffing in the under folds of my man boobs, but really- it's all about looking good.

The diets promoted/sold to us by the public media and commercial enterprises all promise astounding weight loss while eating as much as you want and without feeling hunger. Well that's a lie. It's called advertising, are you really surprised?

The truth behind weight loss is as simple as something you probably learned in elementary school: The First Law of Thermodynamics which can be summarized by stating that energy is not created or destroyed in any reaction. In dieting terms, that translates to "you are what you eat". If you eat 5000 Calories of pork, and do 0 Calories of work, your body will take the excess energy available in that yummy bacon and turn it into fat. If you eat 5000 Calories of avocado, and do 0 Calories of work, your body will turn that guac into FAT, in your THIGHS or BUTT or wherever your body feels it is most convenient to keep it.

The only way to lose weight, then, is to put out more energy than you take in. At this point, all the Atkins fans out there are hovering over the close window button. But hang in there for a little while and I'll show you that the Atkins diet does not, in fact, defy the First Law of Thermodynamics. In the Atkins, and other low carb/glycemic diets, the objective is rapid weight loss, while curbing hunger, by taking advantage of a metabolic state called Ketosis which is a fancy word for starvation, meaning that the body recognizes the absence of adequate energy intake and begins to use it's energy stores, namely fat. Followers of low carb regimens accomplish this by severely restricting the amount of carbohydrates, the brains primary and preferred source of energy, and instead consuming proteins and fats. The advantage here is that the body utilizes some energy to convert the lipids stored in your fat cells in the fatty acids which your body and brain can use for energy, and in some cases may even allow some of the calories that enter your mouth to exit your... other end... untouched or absorbed. Dr. Atkins estimated a calorie advantage of about 950 Calories a day. So, for you Atkins fans, let me revise my previous offerings to include this information: If you eat 5000 calories of pork, and are in active ketosis, and do 0 calories of work, you can expect your body to store 5000 - 950 = 4050 Calories worth of energy as FAT.

At this point, everyone is likely thinking, "Ok then, mr. big shot. If that is the case, why do I know someone who has lost weight on the Atkins diet?"

Well, let us consider everything together.... if energy is not created or destroyed by our super awesome diets, and our bodies store unused energy as FAT, and a person on the Atkins diet lost weight, then the only reasonable explanation is that your friend/relative/dog consumed fewer calories than he used, and his/her/it's body resorted to it's fatty energy stores to sustain life. What most diets reps/ Kirstie Alley won't tell you is that unless you decrease your Calorie intake, you will not lose weight.

One thing that low carb diets have going for them is that they effectively reduce the amount of insulin in the bloodstream. Insulin acts on fat cells to take up fatty acids/triglycerides and store them as FAT. Low insulin levels, on the other hand, cause fat cells to deconstruct fat stores into triglycerides, which are broken down in the liver to their constituent fatty acids and glycerol, which can be used as energy. However, the problem still remains that if you eat more than you use, you still gain weight.

Successful low-carb dieters will attest that after about a day of eggs and lean meats, you get pretty sick of the protein rich foods and start craving carbs. The ones that lose weight are the ones that stick to their diet and abstain from carbs, but also eat less of the proteins which have lost their appeal. This is called a loss of appetite, and it is probably the very best weight loss weapon. If you can destroy your appetite, you will destroy your man boobs.